Qana’ah (Satisfaction)

Salaam everyone!

I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to sort out all the thoughts that have been attacking my writer-self. I spent an over excessive amount of time worrying that these thoughts are the main reason that I haven’t been able to write anything that I considered of substance since the beginning of the new year.

Needless to mention, I woke up early yesterday with a pounding headache and enough worries to make me feel like this:

I was home alone with a never-ending list of priorities and just didn’t want to get out of bed. Outside, it was a gorgeous San Diego day, straight out of a travel brochure, and I couldn’t get myself to get up and enjoy it. I felt like I was suffocating. I could feel the walls of my room caving in and the cool sheets of my bed wrapping themselves around my legs and waist. I was snapped out of it with a text from my younger brother, who was on his lunch break.

Upon asking how I was doing that morning, I complained that it was a beautiful day, but I felt guilty taking advantage of it when I hadn’t been writing consistently. I needed an outlet to vent and I couldn’t think of anyone better than my little brother to hear me through my sulking. I knew he would turn me right around.

[Warning: grammatically incorrect text-style dialogue ahead.]

After telling me I needed to put my tawakul in Allah and force myself to get better sleep, he added, “Take breaks frequently like doing something spontaneous like when you would go to Coronado.”

He was good, throwing my own words back at me. I needed to escape somewhere to relax that wasn’t indoors, like a coffee shop with nothing but my computer and coffee as company. I preach it on my blog, but just wasn’t feeling it.

I sighed and replied back, “I’m sitting here worrying about not having another blog post tomorrow… I was planning on doing something spontaneous and writing somewhere new, but picking up sis from school got in the way of it today.”

The moment I sent that text, I caught my mistake. Did you? Saying I was “planning on doing something spontaneous”, specifically using the word “planning”, is the exact opposite of spontaneity. My OCD perfectionist nature was getting in the way of my writing again and need to just… chillax.

My brother let that go, “I have an idea for your blog post tomorrow.. Try a negative post. Like talk about how you’ve been feeling and stressing and not sleeping…”

Stress and anxiety are relatable topics, but I instantly countered him, “I thought about it, but that would be a really bad idea… I only let a little slip through, but surround it with positive vibes. Like the post on life and death I did.”

I tumbled out of bed, “Ok, I’m finished venting. I’m going to go make coffee and pray.”

There’s an excessive amount of negativity that surrounds us on a daily basis, and I hate bringing it into my writing and especially my blogging. I use my personal writing and this blog to alleviate stress. This is my place to breathe. Negativity is a part of human nature, but I don’t believe that I have the right to drop my negativity on others.

I decided to get dressed and run a few errands. While running around, I took a quick coffee break and actually sat down. You don’t believe me? Here’s proof!

I tried something new and asked the barista if she could combine two of their new drinks for me to make an iced caramel and vanilla bean latte topped with foam and caramel. I’m not a coffee shop food person, but that jalapeño cheese stuffed croissant was calling my name. Yes, all this tasted as delicious as it looked.

Yes, I did feel silly taking a picture of this, but hey, I can pretend to be a cool young person, right? Right?!

Even though I was out taking care of a few things, I was still alone with my loud thoughts. My brother’s idea of addressing negativity kept swimming in between them. As I tried sorting through it all, I realized that all my thoughts these past two weeks brought me back to one word I have noticed everyone dealing with.

Qana’ah, which from Arabic translates to the act of having satisfaction with what we have.

This is not to be mistaken with just settling and giving up on striving to achieve our goals and dreams!

As human beings, we are NEVER satisfied with what we have been blessed with and constantly look to what others have that we don’t. We used to deal with this more if we were surrounded with people who bragged of what they had often or, quite the opposite, complained insistently of what their life lacked. Now, we have the internet and social media that has taken their place.

I know all of you have seen those endless articles and “studies” on how Facebook and other social media sites lead to our unhappiness and depression. Alhamdulillah, I don’t have anything other than Facebook, but I can understand where these articles are coming from… to an extent.

Even if you argue that you don’t have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other means of mass sharing information to the world that I am unaware of, you have the internet with a variety of articles on how we “should” and “need” to live our lives.

They usually go a little like this, but I may have SLIGHTLY changed the titles:

EAT THIS AND BE THE HEALTHIEST PERSON TO EVER LIVE!

OMG! THIS RARE AND SUPER EXPENSIVE VEGATABLE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

FEELING FAT AND OBTUSE TODAY? LOSE WEIGHT NOW! THINK YOU DON’T NEED IT? HAHA! YOU. ARE. WRONG!

WANT TO LOVE YOUR BODY FOR HOW IT IS? GET BEYONCÉ’S THIGHS AND KIM KARDASHIAN’S BUTT NOW!

GET THIS SUPER COOL AND HIP LOOK THAT WILL ONLY COST HALF A MONTH’S PAYCHECK AND FEEL LIKE A CELEBRITY!

CHOOSE THESE MONEY-MAKING CAREERS AND YOU WILL SURELY SUCCEED IN LIFE!
[Don't worry, we'll give you the exact option to make the decision to choose a major and degree you will suffer through in belief that a plethora of jobs await you the moment you graduate!]

YOU MUST MARRY YOUNG TO GAIN ULTIMATE HAPPINESS!

[Oh, you didn’t have control over this and aren’t considered young anymore?]

HAVING CHILDREN IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS!

[Can’t have kids?]

FOLLOW THESE EXACT STEPS TO BEING ALONE!

[Happiness not guaranteed.]

My ultimate favorite articles to hate are the lists that tell me how to live my life at every age.

20 THINGS YOU MUST DO IN YOUR TWENTIES!

Reaction: Hold up, let me go pluck a couple hundred thousand dollars off my money trees… Be right back!

What’s worse are the ways in which we share those articles and comment on them. With a lack of interaction in person, anything and everything can be taken negatively through forms of online communication.

Be honest with yourself, how depressed do you feel after these articles? Why do we even read them? Who are these people that apparently have all the ingredients to living life the “right” way?

I said I understand these articles to an extent, because I believe we have the power to take what we want from them and leave the rest behind. This is a tricky thing to do, I know.

When it comes to Facebook or any social media site where we stay in touch with  family, friends, and acquaintances, I compare it to how I view the film adaptations of books. 

If you think about it clearly, Facebook is the movie version of the book we call our life.

SubhanaAllah, unless our friends are explicitly complaining or airing their every detail of their lives to us, we tend to quickly compare our life to theirs and always sell ourselves short. The reality is that we don’t know how others are struggling. I surely don’t post anything on social media. When I do, it’s extremely rare and always something that gives off good vibes.

For all we know, the person on the other end of the wonderful status or picture we see could really be this:

Obviously, I’m exaggerating. I still support the fact that sometimes the thought of something is better than the reality. Hey, this is why I escape into my books and choose writing, particularly fiction, as my solace.

That being said, if I have ever taken anything from any of those articles telling me how to achieve happiness, it’s to never compare myself to others.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt

I wrote this in my previous post, but I believe it needs to be re-stated. It’s easy to compare our happiness with others based on the narrow view that they give us of their lives. So easy to feel a sense of jealousy for what we don’t have and forget all that we do have. The successful person is able to step back from what they think they want and actually look at how much they already have. Recognize your blessings and stop worrying about what you don’t have control over.

Comparing your life to someone else’s life, even if you think you know everything about this person, say it’s your identical twin, is just another chain holding you back from living your life to the fullest.

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”

Allen Saunders

I don’t believe that there is a concrete definition for happiness. Feeling content, satisfied, accomplished, and overall blessed comes from our own view on life and how we want to live it. It’s in our hands to reach that level of peace and serenity in our hearts.

“The moment you change your perception, is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body.”

Dr. Bruce Lipton

Reaching the level of qana’ah, satisfaction, is in our control.

If you love lists like I do and have been searching for the PERFECT list on how to live your life well, I would suggest this one. The lifestyle of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) provides the perfect list for me.

May Allah swt allow us to reach a level of qana’ah that allows us to appreciate every blessing that has been given to us, while also being inspired to achieve greatness.   

I’m off to rest and wish you all a good night’s sleep!

Tusbahu ala kheir!

(May you wake up in a state of goodness/happiness!)

Hanoon